Grand Prix News
1998

Fejtón o Veľkých cenách a tak nejak... Príjemnú zábavu, ajkeď zatiaľ len v Ingliš lenguič.

Brazil - that's where we have started, so no Australian one.........
Argentina
San Marino
Spain
Monaco
Canada
France
Great Britain
Germany
Austria
Hungary
Belgium
Italy
Luxembourg
Japan

+ a story...

British Grand Prix News

Quiz:
Who won the 1998 British Grand Prix?
a) Michael Schumacher
b) Mika Hakkinen
c) France
Answer: Maybe Wurz, maybe Tuero, maybe Hill, maybe safety car or even maybe a rabbit
that used to run through the track...who knows????

So who won???
The question that bothers even American president who because of nerves had to find himself
a new sex partner (or should I rather say "partneress"??). Schuey went to pits, crossed the line
before Hakkinen and won. What line? The one that indicates where to slow down? The one
that shows where's south? Or is the line only a hair from Bernie's head? Anyway, Schumacher
crossed the normal start-finish line before Hakkinen did (some 5 seconds before Hakkinen did).
Everyone was a winner - Schuey (who lost radio connection somewhere in the car), Mika (who
didn't know where he is after he got to parc ferme), safety car and Takagi (who got to pits before
Schumacher did).

McLaren's Appeal
It was more than clear that McLaren will protest and it was even more clearer that FIA will cancel it.
They said that Mika's pirouettes where unnecessary and that he lost the race by his own mistakes.
Mika said that he wanted to show that he can win in the rain even going upside down, doing pirouettes,
taking a pee, eating a hamburger while pitting etc. etc.
Even David Coulthard wants to protest against the gravel, backmarkers, umbrellas, flags and rabbits on
the track.

Max Like Mika - Doin' What Comes Naturally!
The FIA president - Max Mosley had a go a day before the British Grand Prix at Silverstone in
McLaren double-seater. After climbing out he said that he was just doin' what comes
naturally. He was probably taking an unnecessary pee at those great speeds...or..who wouldn't??
Let's hope he won't make new regulations like 20 cm narrow cars, square tyres, 0.5 cm3 engines,
and bicycle tyres with 20 grooves. It's quite possible...

Ghost Car
Schumacher got his favourite 10 secs STOP/GO penalty for overtaking under yellow flag.
Let's see what was behind all of this. We had a small candid camera hidden in the room where
people responsible for all things on track made their decisions.
- zzzzzz. errhhm. Frank, Frank wake up!
- Whata' hell's doin??
- We fell asleep!
- What?! Damn, are they still racin'?
- There are 4 or 5 more laps to go, hurry up - we have to give an obligatory STOP/GO yet!
- Right! I'll call Ferrari crew...
...Jean, do you hear me?? Hey, Jean, Jean Todt!! You've got a 10 seconds STOP/GO as we
promised!! JEAN!! Do you hear me?? Oh damn, it's stuck!
- What shall we do??!
- I don't know...Got an idea! You run downstairs to tell them that Schuey has a STOP/GO and
I'll be trying to contact them.
(Frank runs to tell Ferrari. After they know it, they call Michael in in the very final lap).

Okay so second version:
(Almost the same as in the first one, but we're adding something)
(Mika was overtaken a few laps before by Schuey)
Mika: Ron, contact Max please.
Ron: Okay, wait...
Mosley: Yes Mika, what's up?
Mika: Don't you remember?? I said you had a go yesterday and I have a win today! Do you
have amnesia?? Com'mon do something!
Mosley: Heavens! Okay Mika, I'll contact my boys!
(Max phones those two guys)
Mosley (to himself): Why don't they answer the phone?! Damn, I have to find'em!
(He runs to that room and wakes them up after a minute of banging on the door)
Max: What are you doin'?! Com'mon back to work!! We have to find a way of getting
Schumacher to pits for at least 10 seconds!
(They try to think of something)
Max: Ran through a rabbit...no....tried to rape my dog...no....said that I am a tinky-winky
girl...no....GOT IT! Overtook a car under yellow fag...err-flag! But what car?? A ghost
one...that's it! Com'mon boyz, let's get to work!
...the radio's jammed?! So run and tell'em!!
(and the rest you already know...they only forgot that they're 25 minutes late...)

Irvine Tooo Confident!
Ferrari pilot Eddie Irvine had a bad start at the British Grand Prix last weekend.
As he said afterwards: "I had a great car - better than anyone other behind me,
so I tried it to stuck it to third [gear] and sadly lost several places as a result."
He said he learned from his mistake and said that next time he'll try it on second
gear.
If it goes like that, in Belgium he'll start it from reverse...

Predictions
Do you know who will win in Zeltweg (or is it Spielberg, or even Graz?) ?
We'll guide you!
(First try to recall last year's Austrian GP.......got it?? Here we go...)
Qualifying:
Everyone will get out of the pits 2 minutes before the end of the qualifying.
Schumacher - very confident before the qualifying - ends up as 10 th
fastest. Okay so first row is secured, second row sees Williams guys
and Alex Wurz as a good Austrian racer starts from the pits (besides, it's
his home Grand Prix!).
Race:
As it is a boring track four drivers (especially some Japanese - they look
very sleepy) will fall asleep, Schumacher will be stopped by Police for
speeding and then for passing under spectators' flag. Both Mugen-Hondas
will expire in the same lap. Damon Hill will get to the pits on the motor bike -
driven on his own and probably decides to try it again in motor bikes racing.
Eddie Irvine will try to pass Jean Alesi and both will fly behind fences
to spectators. Eddie Irvine will finish third...(??).

That's it, Willkommen in Osterreich!

Martin, the McLaren's double-seater's third seat