San Marino Grand Prix Insider


Quiz
Why Michael Schumacher denies grouping with McLaren?
a) Red is his favourite colour
b) His mother hates silver
c) He doesn't want to play second fiddle to Mika Hakkinen
Answer: c) is correct (c will be always correct, but I'll write it also next time)

X wings on Ferrari
Ferrari is trying every way to get closer to McLarens and this time they have chosen
those Enterprise-Tyrrell-X-Files wings to gain some extra, but not sufficient tenths
of a second. It was rumoured that they will protest against McLaren, because they
don't have X wings. Ferrari has also suggested XYZ wings for McLaren which they
would place above cockpit of both drivers (DC and MH). McLaren thank youed
but decided to keep cockpit opened. McLaren also decided to give opinion to Ferrari.
They told them to make a life size copy of Adrian Newey which they would place
in front of the Ferrari pit garage. Ferrari decided to keep all openings opened.

U.S. Grand Prix
A message to all U.S. Grand Prix believers:
Every American who hasn't already applied for hosting the U.S. Grand Prix should
visit either psychologist or Bernie Ecclestone. You will have to answer this simple
questions:
a) Do you believe in UFO and U.S. Grand Prix (you only have to answer one of
those questions because they're the same)
b) Did you ever have sex with Clinton?
c) Have you already visited a psychologist?
If all your answers will be all right, then you will be put to both U.S. GP believers
files and X-Files.

1999 F1 Regulations Changes
It is rumoured that new regulations will be made for formula 1. The new cars should
look like last year's cars, but the tires should stay grooved. As far as I know FIA,
2000 F1 cars will be 50 centimetres shorter, there will be square tires, they will use
go-cart engines and cooking oil. The result will be that F1 cars will be 3 seconds
slower...

Ralf Schumacher finished the race
It is still unexplained that how he has done it. A few say that they have put a few
bags of rock behind him so his car was too heavy to fly to the gravel trap. Others
say his team boss wants to link him to Minardi and take Nakano to Jordan so
Ralf tried to stay on track, although he has never done that before. Agents Mulder
and Scully were called in to investigate this unexplainable thing. Fox Mulder thinks
that the spirit of Roland Ratzenberger was driving the car in Ralf's body.
On answering the question why he thinks that it wasn't rather Ayrton Senna Mulder
said that if Senna was driving the car, Ralf would have finished at least a lap in front
of anybody (that's for all those Senna fans...).

McLaren In-n-Out!
Yes, many strange things happened last weekend in Imola. McLaren of Mika
Hakkinen broke down during the first laps of San Marino Grand Prix. It's the first
DNF for this Finnish driver who is still leading the Championship. As the Finnish
driver said he was too thirsty and there was no fluid in the bottle anymore so he had
to stop. What is the secret bottle? What is in the secret bottle? Is it Mika's secret
formula for success? Does the green button do anything with it? The answer this
Friday on Fox!
DC lost a great deal of time to Michael Schumacher coming to the end of the race.
And again the fluid was the problem! McLaren is now negotiating whether to make
a bigger bottle for their drivers or to link the fluid with engine cooling water. Both
drivers agreed with the first option.

The Twins of Siam??
Once upon a time there was a small factory in United Kingdom. One night, there
was a great noise coming from that factory. There were two Benetton twins born.
They have been just painted and delivered to Italy. Wheeeeeeeooooooouuuuuuu
said the first car on Friday. Wheeeeeeoooooooouuuuuuuuu said the second car
on Friday. The Saturday was the same. They have been hurtling round the circuit
of Imola just to finish in the middle field. And then came Sunday afternoon.
At 2 PM both cars started their last voyage. The first Benetton twin was badly hurt
and poor one suffered from understeer in right hand corners. It went to the hospital
and came back to the circuit just to make business for others. The second Benetton
twin was doing great. And suddenly there was a corner. The twin that was doing
great and was having fun turned backwards and hit the barrier. It died. A few
seconds later the second twin died too. They were born together and they also
died together. As someone said before, lets stand up now for truth, integrity,
national anthem and to take a pee...

Advert
An advert for all rich Brazilians who want to get to formula 1. It is based on an
advert featuring Michael Schumacher for Shell.
(A song) "Whatever you want, whatever you need, whatever you choose you pay
your money you take your choice. Whatever team you want, whatever team you need."
RR: "I have been driving formula 3. But since I use Tyrrell, I feel much more
confident and happy. With Tyrrell, you'll get even ice cream for free!"
Join Tyrrell and win a trip to Barcelona!

Predictions
I am stopping making any predictions because I can't think of any. It's useless. Maybe
next time.

Was it funny?? I don't think so!


Martin, the taker of the pee... :-))

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